As Billy Bob opened the truck bed
door, he noticed that Misty was lying sideways trapped
underneath her seat belt. She was moaning softly. “Misty,
Misty!” Billy Bob screamed, “ Are you ok??”
in tremendous pain but fortunately remained conscious through
it all. “Yea… I think so… Can you help me out?” Misty asked
after examining her sensation and movements in all four limbs.
“I don’t think I hurt my C-spine, so you can help me
move”. Even after what had happened, Misty remained as
bossy as ever.
After Billy Bob helped Misty out of the
truck, Misty suddenly noticed her two missing classmates.
“Where are Johnny and Natasha??” Misty screamed. “
They are not in the truck!!!”
“Could they be...??”
Billy Bob wondered, alarmed, a shiver ran through his body.
As it turned out, just prior to the ill-fated
accident, Misty had fallen asleep. Johnny, taking advantage of
the newfound privacy in the back seat, snuck over to Natasha
where she was sitting alone on the single bench. The two were
making out like two crazy teenagers when suddenly, Natasha
noticed that Billy Bob was drifting off of the road.
Having had previous acrobatic training in her home
country of Ukraine, Natasha maneuvered herself through a tiny
window in the back of the truck, grabbed opened the latched on
the other side of the back door, and then pull Johnny out just
as the truck was starting to turn over. The two narrowly
escaped by jumping and rolling onto a patch of grass next to
the falling truck. Let’s just say, Natasha should have played
James Bond, not just a mere Bond's Girl
with her quick
wit and her acrobatic talents!
Just as Billy Bob
and Misty were in a full panic mode, the two heard out a cry.
“Billy Bob and Misty! We are here!!” Natasha shouted.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Billy Bob and Misty ran over to
Natasha, to Misty’s surprise, appeared unscathed
from the entire accident. In fact, she looked even prettier
with the newly formed wind tossed hair and pink flushed
cheeks. Damn her
…. Misty thought resentfully.
Johnny, on the other hand, has clearly been
traumatized by the entire event. Although not seriously
injured, Johnny was curled up in a fetal position and was
sobbing liked a baby. “I want my mommy! I want to go home!” He
cried out loud, streams of tears are now flowing down his
cheeks and staining his T-Shirt which had the writing “Born
to be Wild”
written on the center.
“But wait… what
happened to Squeaky??” Billy Bob asked nervously. Ignoring
Johnny’s childish whines, Billy Bob, Misty, and Natasha all
ran immediately to the back of the truck. They noticed that
Squeaky was lying in the tank, unmoved.
itself was unharmed being that it was made from “functional
biotech polymers”, the latest tank making technology
formulated by the leading scientists at FSU. However, it
appeared that Squeaky had sustained a serious injury from the
Misty dashed towards Squeaky and examined
him. His heart was beating erratically. “It appears that
Squeaky had suffered a myocardial infarction and that has lead
to a lethal, uncompensated, arrhythmia”, Misty announced
“Well we must save him!!” a shout came out.
Misty suddenly realized that determined voice was no other
than Billy Bob! Billy Bob rushed to the front of the truck,
pulled out an ACLS kit from the dashboard, and sprinted back
to Squeaky’s side. Without prompting, he immediately placed
two pads onto Squeaky’s chest. He checked for signs of
respiration; feeling none, he blew two gigantic breaths into
Squeaky’s mouth. He then looked up to Natasha and Misty, who
were clearly stunned by Billy Bob’s sudden confidence and
“Well don’t just stand there!” Billy Bob
commanded, “Natasha, you continue with the breathing, and
Misty, you do the chest compression. When I say all clear, I
will try to cardioconvert him!”
With that, all three
jumped to their assigned position. Once Billy Bob was ready,
he screamed, “All clear!”
Their silence was broken by a
monotonous tone. Squeaky is now in asystole.
clear!” Billy Bob screamed again. This time, amping up the
charger to 300 joules.
Asystole again. Tears are now
starting to form in Misty and Natasha’s eyes.
more time. 360 joules. Don’t worry you guys! We will
Billy Bob said, attempting to reassure the girls.
the Billy Bob charged 360 joules to the paddles, a jolt of
electricity went up and down Squeaky’s limpless body. Out of
nowhere, Squeaky came alive. He started moving a little at
first, wiggling one fin at a time. But soon, he looked as good
as new as he swam to every corner of the tank and even
attempted to do some flips.
“You saved him!” The girls
cheered simultaneously and embraced Billy Bob at once.
Billy was silent at first. He then spoke quietly. “I
am really sorry, girls. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have
swerve so quickly”.
“So you didn’t fall asleep
driving?” Misty asked curiously.
“No. I was awake when
this happened. I knew I was tired from driving, I was about to
pull over when I saw a deer jumped out right in front of me. I
didn’t want to hit it, so …” He trailed off. After some
moment, he continued, “ I knew Squeaky was sick months ago.
That’s why I ran off to Key West. There was a biologist there
with the leading expertise on the circulatory system of the
Tursiops truncatus. That’s Bottlenose dolphin in Latin.”
“Zo you didn’t go to zhe keys to get zhe tan?”
Natasha’s interest peaked.
“No. I was actually working
with Dr. P in Key West on a laboratory treatment that may save
Squeaky’s life. I couldn’t tell the dean because we are
currently submitting this treatment protocol for a U.S.
Patent. That’s why I had to act all nonchalant about it. If
this protocol gets through the FDA and the IRB, we could
potentially win the Nobel Prize!”
Billy Bob suddenly
appeared a lot more handsome and distinguished in the girls’
eyes. In fact, the girls were now noticing his chiseled
biceps, his perfectly angled- face, and his muscular
After a while, the four students were
eventually rescued by AAA’s roadside assistance. Once arrived
to Pensacola, Squeaky’s returned back to normal health, thanks
to Billy Bob’s innovative treatment. He now happily resides at
the Pensacola Oceanarium under Dr. P full care.
later, Johnny became the legendary “thumb sucker”
FSUCOM. It was also rumored that he might have wet his pants
on that fateful day. However, the three other students denied
any comments due to ethical reasons and HIPPA compliance. As
for the girls, they eventually became best of friends after
being rejected by Billy Bob (many, many times!) and are
currently teaming up to star on a new NBC’s TV version of
“Grey’s Anatomy”; Misty of course, played the hard-ass
vascular surgeon, and Natasha, the beautiful seductive medical
intern, who was once... a lingerie model. And Billy Bob, you
ask? Well, after accepting a full apology from the Dean, Billy
Bob received the FSUCOM student of the Year award upon
graduation. He and Dr. P did receive the patent for
their breakthrough treatment. And with the money earned, Billy
Bob eventually spearheaded the one and only pharmaceutical
company that solely perform charitable and philanthropic work
around the world (Pfizer just made an announcement last week
that they will look into this business model after losing
billions in sales). Although Billy Bob did not win the Nobel
Prize in the scientific arena, he is nominated and is believed
that he will be the youngest person to win the Nobel Peace
Prize in the world.